June 28, 2009

When someone uses the same adjective to describe me more than twice, I begin to worry—I wonder if I have purposely hided other sides of me from this person, and if I have, is there a good reason to continue doing so?

Remember the story about six blind men and an elephant? The elephant doesn’t hide anything from six blind men, does he? And yet, each blind man describes the elephant in a totally different way.

In a way, each of us is that elephant; each of us is somewhat blind. Think about it…

* * *

My friend A is taking a leadership course. She has shown a great potential of being a good leader; I can’t wait for her to become one.

So, what makes a good leader? You have to ask A, since I am not taking the course. But I believe a good leader has to trust his people. Even when he has doubts, he is willing to take a risk and trust. I also believe a good leader should be fair—don’t let the squeaky wheel get all the grease. That’s the two top things I expect from my leader, I guess.

* * *

One reporter called Michael Jackson a hero.

He was a great entertainer, a great singer. But, a hero?

Apparently, my English is worse than I thought.

* * *

W and I golfed with two other guys. I play well on the first hole: long drive, long putt.

“I have demonstrated that I could hit the ball and I could putt, now I can go back to play my lousy game,” I said to them.

I wasn’t realizing that I wasn’t kidding.

June 21, 2009 – Father’s Day

Happy Father’s Day!

My dad was a quiet person; I apparently got his quiet genes. And I treasure those quiet genes more than many other things.

In his whole life, Dad loved us in a quiet way. I always liked to make noises in front of him, hiding the quiet me – I thought I was cheering him up.

Once, I sat next to him in our living room. We sat. We didn’t talk. In my mind, I wondered who would break the silence first. I smiled, when he said, “Why don’t you go play with other kids?”

I miss my dad. He didn’t talk much, but I know how much he loved us.

I miss my dad!

* * *

Do you have a mentor?

I’m thinking of my mentor today. It’s nice to have a mentor. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve shared my excitements, frustrations, even my angers with my mentor, and magically my life was back on track again.

Then, one day, I thought I had learned everything I needed to learn ;-) You know where this story goes, right?

Be nice to your mentor ;-)

* * *

I do want to tell you the status of my book. It seems like Jin-Ling’s Two Left Feet will be published before the end of this year. I am very excited.

If you read the acknowledgement section of my book, you will find out that I have a list of people to thank for. Many people have helped me in one way or the other.

There were days that I thought I would never write another novel. Then, I start writing again… because I am a writer.

June 14, 2009

We went golfing yesterday, and I had a great time. It was the second time this year that I enjoyed the game. My mind was free from chores. The clouds were beautiful. This morning, I opened my eyes at 4 am, thinking about work. Relax, I told myself. Stress will kill you, I thought to myself. Somehow, I managed going back to sleep and then woke up at 6, thinking about work.

Are clouds worry free?

June 7, 2009

I roll my eyes as I type today’s date – this is probably the first time we have heater on in June. It’s a terrible weekend: cold, wet, and grey. I keep telling myself that I’m too busy to go out anyway. Still, I feel we’ve been robbed; we should get our share of global warming!

My lunch buddy’s son graduated from high school this year, and I attended his open house party today. Last time I saw the kid, he looked like a boy; now he looked like a young man. Watching him talking, I suddenly realized how much I dislike changing. Maybe… I mean… aging.

I finally opened an account with Facebook, and at this moment I’m totally confused. The only thing I know how to do is to ask someone to be my friend, or confirm that I’m someone else’s friend. That’s the most important part, I guess. So, I have been busy making friends.

Actually, I’m very busy trying to get my book published, and that consumes a lot of my time and energy. I think I will stop here. Sorry for a short blog. ;-(

May 25, 2009 -- Memorial Day

We remember them...

May 17, 2009

We canceled our tee time a week ago, and did again yesterday – too cold. Last night, I turned the space heater on, which I’d unplugged a couple of weeks ago and was so sure that I wouldn’t use it for a while. Mother Nature sure has a weird sense of humor.

I was glad that we didn’t golf though, so I could work on revising my book. I’d made a great progress. In fact, I completed another round of revision this afternoon and felt so good that decided to go shopping.

Walking into the mall, W said to me, “You know, at our age, we should give ourselves permission to spend money once in a while. Don’t keep buying those on-sale stuffs.”

I couldn’t agree more. The last two pairs of walking shoes I bought are not as comfortable as I would like them to be. Reasonable price, but not reasonable quality. I have decided to buy a good pair of shoes no matter how much it costs.

At Macy’s, I didn’t see any clothes I cared to buy. W saw a jacket that he liked (it’s 40% off) but I didn’t think it was well-made. At the end, I bought a pair of shoes from the on-sale rack and W bought a book from B&N bargain book session.

Old habits die hard, I guess.

* * *

I miss my daughter. A lot!

Today, one of the TV programs played the wedding song, and that gave me an idea. I said to W, “I think we should renew our wedding vow! If we do that, our daughter has to come back, no matter how busy she is.” I put my hand on W’s shoulder. “That’s right! The only purpose of renewing our vow is to trick our daughter to come home.”

W laughed. “I already asked your daughter about that when she was home last time, and she rolled her eyes.”

* * *

Our toastmaster club is going to have an open house on June 10. You are invited ;-) Members are encouraged to bring a dish to share.

For me, that translate to “What should I buy?” Something Chinese, not to messy, doesn’t need to heat it up, healthy (maybe), not too scary for Americans, good tasting…

I flipped through 3 cook books (to get an idea) and didn’t find anything that satisfied all my criteria.

Maybe a bag of popcorn will do.

May 10, 2009

I didn’t blog last weekend—I blame the starting of this year’s golfing season. We managed to play 9 holes. And I don’t remember what I did other than that.

Monday, I received a package from my daughter. She sent me a card and a scarf, which she knitted herself. It was a gorgeous day—72 degrees. I wore the scarf anyway. An hour later, W asked me softly, “Should we turn the air condition on, so you won’t get too hot?” Ah, I detected a little jealousy in his tone, and that made me feel so good!

I remember wearing Mom’s clothes after she passed away, picturing she was hugging me. Her clothes had some Chinese herb medicine smell on it, which I used to hate, but craved after she was gone.

The scarf my daughter sent me didn’t smell anything. I traced each yarn with my finger tip, picturing my daughter sitting in her room knitting and I was thinking how I used to holding her soft hand. I kept tracing, and I could almost feel the warmth of her little hand.

Yesterday, I cleaned my room a little bit (yes, again!) and found a letter my dad wrote on 2001, after my mom passed away. Dad told me how my brother-in-law had choked up when he talked about my mother at a family gathering. Dad told me how much he missed Mom. (He missed her for 9 months, and then found her again, I believe.) Now, I miss both of them.

Being a mother is the most rewarding experience I have ever experienced. I have no regret and I enjoy every minute of it. Every year, I wonder why my daughter has to give me a gift for something I’ve enjoyed so much. My life is fulfilled because of her—doesn’t this mean I should thank her instead?

I did try to thank my daughter whenever I could. But whenever I wanted to say something from the bottom of my heart, my tongue got tightened. Then, I wondered if she had gotten the message. So, I had to try it again, and again. Maybe someday, she will finally get it…

I took my daughter to JCPenny to get a photo taken when she was 2 or 3. I had to hand her to the photographer—I could only watch behind the counter. My daughter didn’tt want a stranger to hold her. I told her it was just for taking some pictures, and she trusted me. We got several nice pictures out of that session. I didn’t know why she trusted me. It doesn’t matter, does it? She is my daughter and I love her unconditionally.

Happy Mother’s Day!